Nowadays we hear a lot of incidents about the break- ups and divorces which have become very common among people. There can be many reasons for that but the main reason is your EGO. What is your Ego? It’s your sense of self-esteem, self-importance, self- worth and self-conceit. Because of your high ego, you place yourself superior to the other one. You want them to surrender you. It blocks you from the understanding that each one is different and you cannot change others to the way you want them to be. In every relationship, it would be very easy if you can understand each has their own self-esteem and we have to respect while managing ours.
So, one of the major reasons for anger is your EGO. When you cannot control others, when they don’t behave, don’t talk and don’t do the things the way you want, you easily get angry with them. Don’t you get angry at yourself? Yes, you do. Even that is because of your ego. We want to have everything to ourselves, we want ourselves to master in everything, if you don’t feel you are so, you get angry at yourself. You may feel you are worthless, and that same factor leads to your anger.
You can feel the anger. Sometimes you can feel it as anger and sometimes it will come as a pain, fear or a feeling of self – worthlessness. What you always have to remember is that anger is a clear, unmistakable signal that you are in pain. The other important thing is “Do not suppress your anger” because it comes up again later with double consequences. But you have to learn how to manage your anger.
Now, we are going to talk about some strategies you can use to manage your anger. First is when you are angry talk about it. Tell the other person that you are angry with the reason. Do not suppress it or try to hide it. Things will be worse if you do so. Talk to the other person what made you angry, then it easy for the other one to understand your feelings. Personally I have used this strategy and I find it very successful. You also can try it out. Another thing you can do is walk outside from irritating situations and people. There are cases where you can say you are angry and stop them from being a botheration to you. So, leave such situations immediately without thinking twice. If you stay you are doing something very wrong for yourself. Another most successful way is to do breathing activities or something like that to distract yourself. It is so common that we are asked to count from 1-100 and afterwards if we are angry. It actually works. You also can press your thumb against the index finger. That sensation makes you feel relaxed. When you are angry observe yourself. How do you feel when you are angry? You will feel changes in your body movements, your sensations, and a lot of changes in your emotions and reaction. When you take time to observe yourself, anger will be gone and you will definitely understand that you are hurting yourself by being angry for something very useless. You also can be aware of your thoughts. What kind of thoughts would come and go? If you get so angry try to use your energy to do something else. You must have observed when women are so angry they do engage themselves in different tasks hastily with much noise in the kitchen or garden. Even that is a fruitful investment. Men also can do something like that until your anger goes away. When you are tired, you don’t have the energy to blame, argue, quarrel and fight. You also can engage in any entertainment activity like listening to a song, watching a movie etc. So, if you are conscious enough to identify your anger, you will never ever be angry hereafter.
There is a very interesting theory called Determinism theory. In psychology, it says that our behaviour is controlled by external and internal causes which we have no control. This theory doesn’t accept ‘free will’. If we take an example, a child will behave aggressively because of external factors like parents’ negligence, the influence from media, friends and school and internal factors like people are born with a ‘destiny’ which they cannot control.

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