Do you judge others? No. I don’t. That will be the answer to all of us. But what if I say yes, we do pass every minute in our life judging others. You have got to believe me. This is called non- judgmental thinking in psychology.
This is very similar to giving a verdict in the court. But in court, the judge will at least consider the witness, for and against before giving the verdict. But in our judgments, do we do that?
When you are walking in the street, don’t you judge others? The very moment we see a person we have already judged him/her. We look at the person and then we have assumed that he can be of this kind. If we see somebody wearing good suits we judge him as a good person. But we really don’t know what he is. Do we? If we see a man wearing unclean, dark colour clothes, what do we think? Oh! This man is really ugly. He is so poor. Have we not judged the person?
But normally we don’t really think or notice that we are judging people. Will those people get upset with your judgment? No, they won’t. But will that have no effect on you? If the person and the judgement are ‘good’, you feel positive and you take your thoughts with that person. You may think I will get a husband like that. I will also buy a saree like that. You go on thinking about various things. It is still the same if the person is ‘ugly’. You will start thinking to go to the other side of the road or look down to avoid seeing him. Later, you may even tell somebody else how he was wearing, etc.
Since we start judging a lot of people and things around us, we sometimes have no enough space to judge all those people and incidents in detail. So, what happens? We judge only a few most important people and things in detail. Others go unnoticed.
Though we don’t think about it, judging people is a headache for you. It can bring stress to a person as well. If you can avoiding judging others, you will feel so relaxed. Your ‘openness’ to accept that each is different is the correct key to avoid giving judgments. If you are married or working in an office etc. non- judgmental thinking is ideal for you. You need to practice this with consciousness.
The other side of the story is that what made you believe you are not being judged by others? They do of course. But you won’t notice it until you hear somebody say so. How would you feel if you hear a passerby says ‘you look gorgeous’ or something like that. What if you hear ‘she looks so proud’? You will, of course, have two different reactions. You will take yourself far with the second comment when you probably ignore the first one with a smile.
The people who judge others will be judged more than those who don’t. What can be the reason? When you judge, you know how to do it perfectly and even when somebody just looks at you and smiles, you think that they have judged you because of your own practice in doing so. People who have non-judgmental thinking would let that pass by easily while you may think about it and come to your own conclusions like ‘may be my dress is not good’ or ‘is there anything on my face ’ etc.
The other side of the same story is ‘you judge yourself’. What do you think you do in front of your mirror? You judge your appearance. Does my hair-style look good on me? Does this necklace match the saree? Do I look good in these jeans? At that time you may feel proud of yourself if you really look good in the mirror. Where do these good and bad appearances come from? From your own judgment.
We don’t know that we are judging us. Mostly this judgment comes from our comparison. We compare ‘I’ with my friends, actors/actresses on TV and with so many others. This comparison is either superior or inferior. It will never be in a middle position. You feel sad if your judgment about you is inferior and you feel overwhelmed with happiness if your conclusion of the judgment is superior.
Start living your life happily by avoiding judging others and you.