Do you believe if I say you that there are people out there who live really happy in this world? The number can be very few. But the factor is true. You may think happiness is the ‘smile or laugh’ in one’s face. Or is it wealth? The happiness we talk about here is not something like that. There are only a few people who really like to know the secret of a successful life. The possession of bundles of materialistic things will never be the answer if you are thinking about it right now. Being happy is the answer. How can we find this happiness?
Nobody in your life can make you happy unless you try it for yourself. You can do the miracle by yourself. That is being inward. If you think about it, we do always spend each minute worrying about the people around us or our loved ones. Nobody for a single second thinks about themselves.
Whenever a thought comes to your mind, if you can see it without letting it go unnoticed, you will believe that you spend a total of 24 hours thinking, worrying and dreaming about others.
You can find real happiness when you start to look at yourself. Be conscious of your thoughts always. When you are aware no negative thought can enter you because you can prevent it from tormenting you. If you are aware enough, you can take one step before your negative thought invades you and you can change your thought into something positive immediately.
We do always grow seeds on our negative thoughts by thinking and living with it for hours and days. We talk and think about the same rotten thought without knowing and it develops like cancer. When this happens with every negative thought how can we really be happy?
While we are walking in the streets, if somebody hits you by any chance or says something annoying, you get so angry and you start to develop the anger by judging the person’s outlook as well. Even after going home you will share this ‘invaluable ’piece of information which makes the others angry too. Can you see how far we are heading with our negative thoughts?
We have to learn to appreciate the variety. Nobody is alike. There are differences even between identical twins. It is a proven fact. Only because you look alike and born from the same genes to the same mother and father will not prevent you from being different from the other. If we can appreciate the variety or the differences we can stop being judgmental.
Be analytical but don’t judge people because we have to live with the rule that everybody has got their own differences.
You can read the following helpful tips carefully if you really want to be non-judgmental.
• First, be non- judgmental to yourself.
• Train yourself mindfully not to judge others.
• Observe and describe their own behaviour.
• Participate in life effectively.
• Focus just on the facts.
• Think that judging is often a shorthand way of stating a preference.
The first tip is the most important of all. Did you know that you judge yourself before judging others? We do always compare ourselves with others. She is pretty. She has a good job. She is well-educated. By thinking so, we position ourselves inferior to others. This can happen otherwise with some of you. You may think she is poor, she doesn’t have a good job etc where you think about yourself superior to others. We judge others comparing ourselves with them. We don’t have the habit to think only about ourselves without comparing.
What do you normally do in front of the mirror? You see yourself and you judge you. But this time it’s all about your outer appearance. How beautiful or handsome you are, you will see that your dress is not beautiful enough and you may plan to buy new ones. You will see that your hair should be done like your friend or an actor/actress. You are unique!! If you are aware enough you will see that you are a unique person and you got to appreciate the way you are than anything else. If we can practice thinking like that, we will not worry about our appearances and how others think about us. Whether they will laugh at us, mock us, judge us or things like that will not bother you anymore. We waste most of our time thinking about how others will look at us and how they will think about us? Do you see the factor I am highlighting?
If you feel like you cannot help judging you and others. Start just with the facts without going deeper with your judgments. Just see that she is beautiful than you and do not go further with your thoughts like I too want to be like her and to think like though she is beautiful she is not wealth like me etc.
If we can use that time to think about something useful we all can be in better positions? That is, you can participate in your life (you have not been participating in your life so far). You can enjoy every moment in your life hereafter. You will wonder how happy you can be!! That is real happiness!
Happiness is always a choice of yours.

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