We want the people around us to be like the way we want them to be. A person is considered ‘bad’ if they don’t behave the way we like. But have you ever thought about yourself in this situation? What others want you to be and what they want you to do. No. Because we don’t like to change ourselves for any reason whereas we want others to eat, drink, walk, learn, earn and even die the way we want. Don’t you think?
None of the above is realistic and when you find it’s difficult to change yourself how can you expect somebody else? No matter whether it is your spouse, child or friend. So, this is where we find the meaning of ‘attitude’. Attitude indicates one’s feelings either favorable or unfavorable towards people, objects or events and places. Knowledge and skills of us can be similar but not our attitude. The first two lies on the surface level according to the Iceberg theory and attitudes lies underneath. But if we are careful enough we can change our attitudes to the positive side. People change according to their attitude.
What are the factors that decide our attitude? First is the state of mind. The present state of mind directly connects with the present attitude of ours. If we are angry, tired, excited at this moment, our attitude will also be negative. It is the opposite of a positive attitude. We have to train our minds to have a continuous positive attitude towards everything in life. For that, you have to stay aware of all your feelings, emotions and thoughts every minute.
The second is our mind-set. We have different mentalities. According to our belief system, the outlook of life, we think different. So, it affects our attitude. The third is the way we look at or think about things. This comes from our experience.
Society has a direct influence on our attitudes. That is because the people we associate can influence our attitudes. Not only the people, the events happening around you, the things you see every day and even the places you go to daily can make an impact on your attitudes. Think about this incident for example. When you go to work, if you happen to pass by a very sacred religious place, you would daily develop a religious impact. Either you may spend few seconds to worship it, think about your religion or talk to a friend about the place. But if you happen to meet every day on the bus, a person who talks only about criminals, burglars, rapists and so on for hours with you, there is a possibility you would also be like that. You would tell those to another like him and it won’t be easy for you to erase those from your mind. See how society shapes your attitudes?
Attitude can be taken as a decision you have made about how you want to see the things, people around you to be and happen. Attitudes are also a judgment made by you.
How are these attitudes formed? First is the cognition. It is simply our thoughts. What we hear and see and our perception towards them shape our attitude. Next is Affective. Our emotions and sentiments belong here. Last is our behaviour. So, our attitudes are a package of our thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. These three cannot be taken separately because they are attached to each other.
There is a very interesting model on attitudes. It is called ‘Betari box Model’ or “B.B model”.
Simply it says my attitude affects my bahaviour and my behaviour affects your attitude which in turn will affect your bahaviour. It is quite interesting story, isn’t it? If we can analyze this by ourselves, we don’t need any other explanations about attitudes. We think that our attitudes are either positive, negative or neutral. But do you see how complex our attitudes can be?
With these things, we have to see whether there is a connection between personality and attitude. My personality is who I am and my attitude depends on who I am. If you are questioned, who are you? The answer you will give will be the personality of yours. Depending on how you describe your personality, others can understand your attitude.